Valentine’s Day is one its way and all the world’s loved-up couples are now too busy buying everything read and feeling soppy. However, single people, never fear! The List Love is offering 10 romantic gestures gone wrong – which are bound to cheer you up!
1. Love Hurts
What lasts longer: a tattoo or a marriage? Well, for Alan Jenkins it was most definitely his tattoo. The father of two loved his family so much that he had a life-sized portrait of his entire family tattooed onto his back, costing him nearly £870 and taking 20 hours to complete. After all that hard work and money, it turns out his wife of 15 years was cheating on him with a fitness instructor.
To make matters worse, Lisa is wearing the same clothes in both of the Daily Mail shots – meaning the cuckolded husband had to show up and pose with the tattoo.
2. Falling in Love
One loved-up guy chose to pop the question to his partner on top of a steep hiking trail, and his soul-mate was so excited by the proposal that she fell off the edge of the cliff. Fortunately, after falling ten feet off the steep rockface, the park police were able to fly her out of the area with a helicopter, and she did not receive any life-threatening injuries. Phew!
3. Love is Deaf
They say love is blind, but sometimes it can cause deafness. One Chinese woman became partially deaf for two months after her partner blew her right ear drum out after a rather passionate kiss. A doctor told a Chinese newspaper: “While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution.
4. Clothesless Cupid
James Miller knew he had to give his girlfriend a Valentine’s Day to remember, and so he chose to streak across a football field whilst shooting roses from a bow and arrow. Miller, who is in the armed forces, was not only arrested for his rather odd behaviour, but he also faced a court martial. Wait, it gets worse for James, as his girlfriend was so disgusted by his behaviour that she dumped him. To add insult to injury, Miller was charged a £100 and was banned from all future football games for three years.
5. Cocaine Cock
One man, whose name we’ve chosen to leave out, wanted to give his lady love the time of her life in the bedroom – and so obviously chose to place cocaine inside of his penis, as you do. He inserted the drug with a syringe and returned to bed to wow his lover. Three days later, once the deed was done, his penis was still erect and was, unsurprisingly, very sore. Much to his embarrassment, he was forced to visit a doctor, who managed to ease his pain. Unfortunately, the man learnt his lesson when he suffered from gangrene and his legs, fingers and penis were amputated.
6. Fly Me to the Moon
What’s the best way to impress the love of your life? Well, it definitely isn’t drunkenly driving your girlfriend to the airport – with a suspended driver’s license – robbing a plane and crashing it into a soybean field, which is what Michael Santos done. Police believe the man caused $160,000 worth of damage.
7. The Price of Love
One man from the Heilongjang province in China wanted to impress his girlfriend so much that he deposited a cheque for 250 million yuan (approximately £23,000,000), despite the fact he knew the cheque was a fake – and so did the bank. The man was arrested by police and forced to confess that he deposited the cheque simply to impress his lover. Not so cool now!
8. Balloon Blunder
Hiding a £1,000 engagement ring in a balloon is pretty romantic, right? But it’s not so romantic when you accidentally let go of the balloon the minute you step outside the florist. Lefkos Hajji chased the balloon for two days in his car when he finally gave up. His girlfriend also refused to talk to him until he replaced the ring with a new one.
9. Moronic Milkshake
Whilst placing an enagement ring inside your girlfriend’s drink is pretty sweet, you should probably stop her from chugging back her Wendy’s Frosty milkshake after encouragement from her friends. Reed Harris thought it would be the perfect way to surprise his girlfriend, Kaitlin Whipple, with a wedding proposal.
After racing her friends to chug back the milkshake, Kaitlin had to take a trip to the hospital – where the x-ray revealed the engagement ring. Reed then proposed to Kaitlin with the x-ray image of the ring, and she said yes! The ring returned to them a few days later and was quickly cleaned!
10. Takes the Cake
Mr. Chen from China decided to bake an engagement ring into a cake, after being inspired by many romantic movies. In the middle of his proposal, his girlfriend took a bit of the cake and suddenly passed out. Needless to say, she was taken to hospital and staff used a catheter to remove the ring – and she said yes when she woke up in a hospital bed!
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